To Surviving Domainer Mardi Gras — DNW’s Guide

How to prepare for Fresh Orleans.

The second annual Domainer Mardi Gras kicks off tomorrow in Fresh Orleans. I’ve attended 100% of these shows, which makes me an authority to write this survival guide.

1. Bring your patience. With inclement weather across the nation, getting to NOLA won’t be easy today and tomorrow. When you get to the city, be ready for some long lines for taxis and other services. It’s a busy weekend.

2. Check your expectations. Think Mardi Gras is like a Girls Gone Wild video? Nah. It’s more like an American nude beach. Much of what you see is not stuff you will want to remember. Most of the time you throw beads off the balcony you will be aiming for someone’s open beer cup rather than a girl.

3. See some amazing feats. Have you ever seen someone hold a beer in one hand, toss beads off a balcony in the other, and write a response to a UDRP all at the same time? Keep an eye out for this guy:

4. You’ll get messy. From the crawfish boil to powdered sugar covered funnel cake, plan on getting it all over ya.

5. Flying objects may be closer than they appear. For some reason, people on floats like to throw hard objects at your head. They think it’s cute. It’s all fun and games until the Knife Skills Training float comes by.

6. For a good time, follow this guy around:

7. Keep an eye on Ron Jackson. I’ve never seen that guy take as many pictures as when he was at Domainer Mardi Gras last year. Most of the photos were off the balcony. He kept talking regarding “making sure I get the perfect shot” or something like that.

8. Eat plenty of greasy food. It soaks up the beer. Sig is a partner in a restaurant by the hotel, and rumor has it attendees will be able to use it as their refueling station 24/7.

9. Don’t overdo the first night. Pace yourself, folks. Nothing’s worse than having a hangover following the first day of Domainer Mardi Gras.

See you in Fresh Orleans!